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Archives for February 2002
The Cradle of the Civil War
The all-time best use of simile in lyrics award goes to Paul Simon for “Graceland”:
“The Mississippi delta’s shining like a National guitar.”
16 Days of Boredom
Did I mention I hate the Olympics with every fiber of my being?
I’m sick of the French and their wuss skating judge. I’m sick of “medal counts.” I’m sick of watching sports that people only seem to care about once every four years. I’m sick of the idea of two gold medals. And most of all, I’m sick of a world where a bunch of emaciated fourteen year old girls on figure skates is enough provocation to cancel my “Law and Order.”
There was a time when the geopolitical climate was such that the olympics were actually interesting and exciting. Remember when we beat the commies in the miracle on ice? I certainly don’t. I was too young. I hate hockey anyway, but I’m sure you see my point. Globalization has turned the entire event into a pathetic feelgood celebration of our diversity. What America needs now is a sporting event that allows us to humiliate our middle-eastern enemies and pseudo-allies on a world stage. That would be interesting to watch.
Let’s Bet It All!
Tonight, watch “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” with our celebrity jackass contestants playing—and risking huge sums of money—for the charity of their choice.
The Man in the Mirror
Hey kids! I went to the dermatologist today and I found out I’ve got a skin condition called vitiligo. It turns out that my skin is destroying it’s own pigmentation. Isn’t that exciting?
At least it’s not cancer.
WB Is WB
I was watching “Gilmore Girls” with the little lady tonight. Two characters were discussing Ayn Rand and one of them referred to her as a “political nut.”
Not that I need any further proof that the leftists run the media.
I love these McDonald’s Olympic sponsorship commercials. Using a competition between the most physically fit humans on the planet to sell fast food is totally amusing.
